Be careful what you wish for.

I've complained that men don't write enough, that they send these one-line or two-word emails, and how is that supposed to help me get to know them any better? I know they're just throwing out hooks to see if they get a bite before investing a lot of time, but still I find it frustrating.

But! Today I got quite the missive from a gent with the impressive username of warlordevet. War lord? My goodness, the vassals are trembling already. Here is what the war lord had to tell me:

chad is my name i am looking for a good woman i dont have time for the bs lies games or drama or a woman who talks to more than one man at a time cause i dont talk to more than one woman at a time because in the end when u have to pick some one gets hurt that is why i dont do it i am loving caring sensitive sincere passionate affectionate i dont cheat nor hit women so if your interested please get back with me

War lords are much too busy to use punctuation, you know. When they speak, there are no pauses, because pauses are for pussies.

And yet! he is a sensitive soul. He does not hit women (despite what you may have heard from that bitch who talked to some other man while talking to him). He has the artistic vision of e.e. cummings and eschews capital letters. I also suspect he copies and pastes this letter to anyone at all who interests him.

I think I'm too intimidated to respond to him. What if he finds out I'm on a dating site, receiving emails from many different men throughout the week? Oh, someone will get hurt, I fear.