Mating Calls

I guess this is the story of my nesting impulse and how it's affecting my life. It's not that I'm dying to lay eggs or anything. I just needed to hear some mating calls, okay? I'm sometimes a lonely bird. So here's the profile I placed on an online dating site:

wrenabird

About me

What kind of bird am I? Well, I'm a small but plump brown-headed bird, native to the Southeast. Dark eyebrow, short beak. Just a domestic wren, really.

I'm a technical writer, actually, and that makes this whole thing rather hard. Who am I? I'm creative, but I work with scientists. I'm hardworking; in fact, I have two jobs. I also have a house, a dog, a cat, and a bunny.

What I don't have is a boyfriend, or a husband, or a cuddlebunny, or whatever term of affection you prefer. Which is, I guess, why I'm here. You could call me laid back, or introverted, or quiet. I like to stay in, and throw the ball for my dog, and have a beer. I am funny, but only after I warm up to you.

I like guys who are witty, smart, and good at what they do. I fall fast for a good voice and a generous vocabulary. I find an almost-bald head kinda sexy, to be honest.

I am achingly liberal, open to any religious experience that is not out of a textbook, and don't care what kind of car you drive.